Thursday nights I have an English class that ends at 10:30. Being an English major, I am always enthused afterward, never ready for sleep. Plus with no classes tomorrow and no work till noon, it is a wonderful time to catch up on my blog!
I think a lot about what to say on here. I feel like I’m stepping up to a microphone. I have been so pleasantly surprised by the comments I’ve gotten so far. I suppose I knew that people would read it; I just didn’t realize how excited this would make me!
I didn’t know if I had anything to write about tonight until I was reading Laurie’s blog. It reminded me of something I’d realized just the other day. I can’t even remember exactly what I was doing at the time I had the thought, but it was this: As long as I’m spreading joy in the world, I’m changing it in the most positive and direct way.
I have this constant sense of urgency. I’ve always felt like I was trying to “get somewhere” instead of just being right here. I want to travel. I want to change the world. I want to help feed starving kids in Africa. And I let all of these thoughts drown out what I am doing RIGHT NOW.
Right now, I clean one house a week, watch seven different children from two different families, while making time for my own family (mom, dad, sister, brother, nieces, nephew, grandpa, and boy friend, +2 close friends), keep a house clean, help care for our pets and house plants. And there’s school. I never miss my math or English classes and I am always ready and willing to help out other students. I’ve even gained enough self-respect to kindly say: “Hey you can’t just copy it! Where’re ya stuck?” and then I get to do what it is I hope to do after college: teach.
Laurie is right, we can all talk about the problems forever and ever but I think the only problems worth talking about are the ones you can solve. If you’re going to talk about the state of the economy, try to do it in a way that keeps the focus on its effect on you and what you’re going to do about it instead of having one long “whoa-is-me” lament. We all live in this world. We’re here. Now what are we gonna do about it?
Theresa said,
April 26, 2008 at 1:35 am
Amen! Good words, I’m glad to hear this from you, I know it gets frustrating… but your advice is right on the dot.
barefootbhakti said,
April 26, 2008 at 8:25 am
I think it’s so natural to feel that desire to travel and “get somewhere” when you’re a young college student! It’s really hard to find the present moment when your future is so fluid.
I think the best thing we can do to improve this world is learn to understand the internal struggles we all have inside of ourselves before we rush out and try to solve the external ones. If we can use our inner-lives as lab-work for life, and what actually works, then we will have some real knowledge about how to actually improve the world. Does that make sense?
For example, people who are out militantly protesting and fighting for world peace probably don’t have the first clue about what peace means, because they haven’t found the peace inside themselves. THey have not learned yet, how to focus their energy in a constructive way. A peaceful activist demonstrates an understanding of peace. We have to practice it on a small scale before we can apply it to a larger scale. If you can start the process of honest inner-inquiry now, then you’ll be miles ahead of all of my 30 and 40-something friends!
Susan said,
April 28, 2008 at 3:57 am
Good for you Katie! You’re miles ahead of most of us! One stone thrown into a pond can create a far reaching effect. One baby step at a time.